Let it happen. Let the gods smite me with their tridents. Let the god of destiny decide finally for me to have an end, for I myself will make such an end worth remembering.
No one could have thought that I myself will be able to surpass each endeavor with a mark of success in life. It was just like yesterday since I thought of getting to school with the small knapsack and a petite lunch box carried by my right hand. Now, I am once again on the brink of yet another chapter in my novel. It is now best for me to turn a hundred and eighty degrees, back to where I began. It is wise to make myself reacquainted with myself once again, before pushing forward to another dimension.
I wore a smile as I turn the pages of life backwards towards its cover. I did recognize one of the materials placed there: an object made up of silvery metal. God knows whether they are real or not. There was an encryption behind it: General Scholastic Award, Third Year. I immediately took a glace on the pages before that, forgetting what I have just seen a while ago. I suddenly took a deep breath and made myself realize that there are far more important things than that of the medal, per se.
Have you seen the ants crawling on a tree? How minute these creatures are, aren’t they? Having a more understanding eyes on these red-bodied or black-bodied creatures while treading the course of life, I realized one thing: how insignificant we are compared to the ants! In spite of their seemingly insignificant existence in this world, they have been the epitome of the real essence of living: helping each other in times of crisis, doing ordinary things extraordinarily well, and stopping and greeting our colleagues with that sweetest smile we could ever wear. How stupid we are! We took for granted the smallest things because of their mere significance, more often than not, tagged them as insignificant , but here they are, wearing one of the most significant lessons of life.
As I continue turning the pages, I saw our class publication. It was one of the projects that made me spend nights reading articles and eliminating errs as far as I could. It was a tough experience. In the end, a sense of satisfaction returned to me (by other people). In life, there exists a labyrinth of ignorance, hatred and power mongering. All of us move in that labyrinth, trying to escape from the dread end brought by the Minotaur. The funny part of it was, in my class, I have only less than a handful people were able to understand the situation that we had had. Individualism prevailed in the class. Nobody looked after that class project except that handful of people and me. As the editor-in-chief of that class publication, I literally burned hours, just to make a newsletter worth publishing. It was a success for me, despite the fact that behind me were shadows, pulling me toward the Minotaur. The people I helped in their struggles made me wings of a bird. The Minotaur cannot surely go toward the skies, and so they made me wings to fly. There we were, soaring like an eagle towards the lofty skies above.
It was not the publication that mattered to me, after all the publication was then a form of a requirement (wherein only a number of us complied). What I have realized is the fact that we, my friends and I, made a relationship anchored firmly to the virtues that we have. We stood by and watched the people who spoke against us. In the end, I firmly said, “We should never leave people behind.” Therefore, we did what I uttered. I took the liberty of making the class not suffer for their ignorance. Where is justice? Let God practice justice and let me do what He commands me to do, for in the end I know, that God will use people to make them realize their mistakes, including my own.
It has been difficult for me, ever since to make a decision whenever there is a dilemma…well, who is not? There came a time when I struggled to make a decision that could have changed the way I live, and that is to expose myself to a more bold way of living that could give me fame and exposure. I chose not to. The race of life goes on and on and shall never cease. Life has been indeed a struggle between a greater success and a bitter failure. Choices have been, and will always be like this. Dilemmas may come but still will yield onto this. In whatever we choose though, we strive for the best. Darkness on the other hand is not a separate entity; rather it is an absence of light. We do fall on our knees, bleed, and sometimes starve until a near-death experience. We loose everything, including hope…but the glory is not on the number of gold, silver, and trophies we receive rather on the rising every time we fall. In every mistake that I will take, I seek His enlightenment. After contemplating, I will rise up as a better Ian: battle-hardened and ready.
The denizens of my school know me as somebody who can never join an extra-curricular activity, except for a religious function, wherein I could be a knight of the altar. Well, for that service I was granted a position last year as the Spirituality head of the Campus Ministry, but then I asked myself, am I not capable of breaking the barriers? Though the Omnipotent Creator made us to become land creatures, take a good look at us now, we have successfully conquered the skies with a fleet of aircrafts, of different sizes and shapes, the seas with innumerable boats and ships. Though we are not sea creatures made by the Omnipotent One to be as swift and dynamic as that of an eagle, we can, even as seagulls make through the barriers of physical deformities, mental incapability, and racial discrimination. We could reach the horizon, in spite of the barriers that sets us into an eternal vigil for nothing. We can if we could only believe, and I did. I was able to make a difference in the school, though I do not give it much of an importance. What matters most is that I did break the barriers of life.
Projects made my heart loose mass, and ultimately make me feel failing. In addition to that sad reality, there will surely come a time (as always) where people will loose hope and some of them would even vanish to a dimension I myself cannot enter. There they have created abominations, trying to destroy its creators. After which, people seek help from me and send me to become a ghost fighter…literally putting into rest the ghouls and other abominations sent to the world of men by these creatures known as ” classmates“. People depart from you and soon you will realize that less than a handful of people will give you the support they need (even for that class project). When this time comes, look up and say, UNA KAYA. You can make it ( KAYA) to the top (UNA). YES, I can, and I did! Una Kaya…it was really a song made by Pinikpikan, but then this song made me realize that we can make it.
Even if we are busy, we are proud to be…I am proud to be for this is my passion. Teaching minds, touching hearts, and transforming lives. It sounds very Lasallian, but it is for me the real goal of a true Catholic, not just an ordinary goal of a member of the Lasallian community.
One of the most tragic experiences that I had—it was so tragic that I want to dump it—was that of my second year. My class back then was, and I quote from Ursula, as what will others will name of her, “Tuod”. Nobody, I mean nobody, cared for each other. Factions were made and literally, there was a war in the class. I took the liberty of not getting along the flow of the river, and let others flow toward their demise. Everybody waged war against me for the reason that I am a goody- goody person, or a killjoy, et al. I stood straight and learned how to resist. I made myself firm on my decisions, and literally fought against the whole class. I know I was right, and had no regrets of it. I know I am a person who cannot stand but help people, but I was cultured to be able to resist, and go against the flow of life if necessary. Go against the flow of life if they go against your own philosophies. Go against the flow of life if necessary, to correct the mistakes of the many and to show them the right path toward success.
As I close my novel, I took ponder on the different things that I was able to conjure and triumphantly become victor with my hands. They are innumerable…as far as my memory could recall. There you can see in my report card a series of numbers running from eighty-six to ninety-five. In fact they have been awing, my seatmate in particular, whenever they see my card that is why I opt not to show them the cards. I am sure after that they will say, “Ang taas ng grades mo!” They did not realize one thing that’s going in my mind for quite a long time. These numbers however high their magnitude would be, would not determine the future, not even the course that you could take, rather they set limitations. Like me, for example…when I get a grade higher than the previous, it will be the benchmark whether I am improving or not…
The number of achievements or experiences does not determine life. Life instead is determined by the actions that we have done towards the end of everything, and the lessons that she taught us must remain as we sail across the ocean of opportunities, tranquility and ultimately towards the ultimate happiness.
Carpe Diem. In all endeavors, we should leave the mark of success.
Una?
