The title of the entry is an allusion to a column title in the Philippine Star, “As I Wreck this Chair”.
This would probably be the last entry in this blog. I have tried to nourish myself by doing what is necessary for a writer– to write things about the unheard voices within oneself, society. After all, writing is for people to express suppressed voices, not to impress others. Yet in the end I have learned that I failed myself.
As I wreck this blog, I remember things I have written against a number of my readers. These only tells that I am not yet ready to be part of the writing community. I still have yet to fully understand the intricacies of writing. I have to improve my vocabulary, and most importantly gain more confidence in facing the future–the immediate future.
As I wreck this blog, I remember the happy times and actually miss them. If only there were cameras that capture even the minutest detail of feeling.
As I wreck this blog into its silence, I remember having a duty towards Him, my country, and others, and that one could not serve others if he or she does not understand the complexity of the schemas of life.
As I wreck this blog, I remember that having a bluer horizon pertains to a darker, gloomier future.
But then again, we use the darkness in order to see light.
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I just hope it is not to late to see the light I supposed I should have seen years ago.
